Top 9 Trans Dating Tips You Should Never Ignore

The ocean of love is a huge one. It is deep too – you never know what you’ll find. Sail as far as you can and while at it, cast your net wide. But what happens when you find a trans-partner? How should you go about dating? First off, you’ve struck gold. Trans partners are there in plenty. When it comes to dating though, many of them tend to prefer to date their fellow trans. You’re therefore among the lucky few. Here’s some further good news – you don’t have to prove you’re worth your partner’s love. All you need to do is be a good partner – you know, the usual stuff. As they say, it’s the little things that win her over – be nice, smell nice – cook too if you can. Go on dates, be respectful, remember her birthday or your anniversary. Then over and beyond these seemingly subtle yet vital basics, never forget or ignore the following trans dating tips.

Learn The Lingo

Expect to come across new lingo as far as dating a trans is concerned. Note that terms like ‘tranny’, ‘shemale’, ‘ladyboy’, ‘He-she’ are generally considered offensive. Some trans people may not mind these terms and may in fact, use them. This doesn’t mean in any way though, that they are terms you can freely use when interacting with other trans people. Take advantage of a shemale escort the next time you’re with one and request them to help you learn their lingo. The rule here is simple. Some terms like ‘shemale’ are only slightly comical but only in established, solid and well-grounded relationships.

The next big question now come. What are the alternatives to common slang words used by straight people when referring to trans people. If you’re unsure, ask your partner about the alternatives. You’ll most likely end up with alternatives like ‘verse’, ‘top’ or ‘bottom’. Note that these terms mostly refer to sexual preferences. There are of course, other terms like ‘stealth’ or ‘passable’ which simply means that a person can easily blend with crowds with ease and without raising suspicion or curiosity that they are not cis-gendered.

You’ll quickly notice that LGBTQ lingo morphs every now and then. That is to say, some terms aren’t as popular as they were a decade or two ago. Learn such terms too. One such term is ‘chaser’ which simply refers to a man who tries to hook up with as many trans-women as he can with nothing or very little to offer and with no intention whatsoever of sticking around.

Work On Yourself

Dating or even getting attracted to a trans may have you question your sexual orientation. Look deeper though and you’ll find your attraction isn’t as far fetched as you think or imagine. Remember the  last time you went out with a ts escort? You had a good time and by morning, you knew for sure you’d be looking for more ts escorts. You’re now attracted to a trans with a solid likelihood that you’ll formally date. Don’t get into that relationship without first acknowledging what you’re grappling with. In a nutshell, work on your insecurities before making things formal with the trans you have a soft spot for.

For many trans people dating in the closet isn’t always a big deal. For some, coming out is extremely important. They want to be certain that you don’t and won’t ever question your relationship. This may be hard for you if you’re worried that your colleagues, family members and friends will stigmatize you. Figure out how you’ll overcome these challenges before settling down with a trans partner.

You don’t have to rush things. Working on yourself is always a process. It can take weeks or sometimes years. Hang on in there though until you find your true north. It takes a tough skin to learn the ropes and acquire skills to tear down unfounded personal insecurities that can take a toll on your relationship with a trans.

Don’t Prioritize Sex

Trans-gendered people get laid probably more than their heterosexual counterparts do. Prioritizing sex in the wake of a possible new relationship with a trans is therefore, a conspicuous deal breaker. Sure enough, sex is by all means something you should talk about especially if the imminent relationship will be your maiden engagement with a trans. You’ll be tempted to bring out the sex issue so you can get it over and done with. That may sound like a good strategy, but it isn’t. It only exudes the character of an individual keen enough on sex more than anything else.

It is hard to pin point with precision the most appropriate time to bring out the sex issue. In many cases though, the right time happens to be either when you’ve both built palpable rapport or in the alternative, when sex becomes inevitable. Keep in mind too that you shouldn’t go ice cold on the sex issue and ambush your prospect with it. The right way is to first talk about your sexual compatibility issues. It is also important to let your prospect know right away what you’re intentions are. Are you in it for fun and casual dating? Do you want to explore an open relationship? Are you in it just for the sex? Table all these issues before you can go further into the relationship. This is important because whichever way you look at it, emotions are involved. As such, you don’t want to be the one to blame in the unlikely event where the relationship takes a sudden nosedive.

Boundaries

Forget about what you read or what you watch in porn. Transgendered people aren’t usually down for anything as these forms of media portray. As you’ll find out, nearly all the trans people you’ll come across have specific triggers. They’ll most likely let you know about the triggers before anything serious takes course in the shape of a relationship. They’ll either let you know the boundaries or they’ll simply assume you know. The latter happens where you’ve already dated a trans before. That’ll make it easy for your current prospect to presume that you already know a few basics like terms you shouldn’t use as already explained. It is very important for you to always take into account the triggers your prospect tells you about.

For a newbie in the trans world, the triggers and boundaries a prospect shares may seem too subtle to take into account. Like the old adage goes though – the secret is always in the little things. Respect the boundaries and you’ll certainly enjoy your relationship with your trans prospect. Show no concern for the boundaries and just like that, what seemed promising and exciting ends in sudden disappointment. Be particularly keen on boundaries that have everything to do with sex. For instance, experimentation should be by all means, consensual.

Be Moderate With Chivalry

You can be too much with chivalry without noticing it. It could be too much complementing, too much of opening doors or too much texting and calling all in the name of winning a prospect’s affection. Be a good person yes – it is a good thing. Be quick to note though how your chivalry is treated by the receiving party. She probably wants to feel appreciated but at the same time, do the mundane things on her own.

Here comes yet another tricky bit when it comes to treating trans-gendered persons. You go out and an altercation crops up. What do you do? Fight off the bad guys. You do this because you want your date to feel safe. To your surprise, this doesn’t augur well with her. She feels that you’re too much with the protection. This may surprise you but it happens more than you probably know. She’ll let you know her feelings about it. You on the other hand, should strike a balance between what you consider is an act of love as far as protecting her concerned and what she’ll immediately decipher as a necessary intervention to protect her life when and where necessary.

Understand Her Journey

Let’s face it – you’ll at one point want to know what life was like for your prospect before transitioning. You may want to know what her life was like. You could be looking at photos or talking about favourite childhood events. What started out as a fun activity can very easily end up being a sombre one because a memory or an event triggers certain not so good pre-transition memories. Be supportive. Lend a shoulder your prospect can lean on.

You may at some point notice that for many transgendered people nothing really ever changes when they’re referring to their childhood and pre-transitioning years. Aptly put, your prospect may talk about her childhood and all while refer to events as is she was female the whole time. This may sound and look awkward if you’ve never been with a transgendered person before. You may feel obliged to ask questions which isn’t really a bad thing. Go slow and be tactical yet respectful with the questions you ask.

Don’t Stalk

She’s an escort female alright. You actually fell in love with her in one of your many escapades with trans escorts. She still goes about her business as you flirt, something you don’t seem to condone. You want her all for yourself. She’s active on different social media so in a bid to find out more about her, you resort to stalking her. You follow her on social media platforms and even like and share her posts. Bad news for you. This isn’t a good move. If anything, it will greatly hamper your chances of ending up with her. Stalk her all you want but be secretive. Here’s a cliché to help you win her over. You wanna know something about her – ask her!

You’re Not the Only Fish in the Pond

You liked her? Well, good for you. A hundred more men…and women like her too. In short, she has several suitors. Your best bet is to therefore, try as much as you can to stand tall and stand out. Be yourself as you go about this. Treat her as you would any other woman you have a spot for.

Keep Her Secrets

You initially thought she wasn’t a transgendered person. You talked to and with your friends about her all the time. They accepted her into your cycle of friends with relative ease. She was after all, fun and cool to hang out with. You even went as far as introducing her to your family. Then the big news came - she is a transgendered person. You never saw it coming. At first, you had a hard time wrapping your head about the fact that your prospect was trans. You decided, she was cool and good enough to date. She’s been worried all along though that somehow, you’ll spill the beans.

Look around you. What do you have to lose by spilling the beans? You already know the answer here – you could lose her. Flip the coin onto the other side. What does she have to lose? Pretty much everything. It could be worse if you’re from a country that isn’t too tolerant towards transgendered people. Such news could very easily lead to stigmatization, harassment or worse still, violence. It could also send her into depression. Here’s what to do – keep the secret between you two. It is really that simple. The move won’t just cement your relationship. It’ll also stand out as one of the most notable decisions you’ve made in a bid to respect her status.

Wrap Up

Dating a trans-gendered person isn’t as hard as many people think. It is in fact, easier than you think. It is fun too. So the next time you find yourself grappling with feelings for a trans-gendered person, be easy on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you. Be brave enough to admit that you’ve either fallen in love or you’re falling in love with a trans-gendered person. Be brave enough too to ask her out. Then while at it, keep in mind all the aforementioned tips. All the best!

Source: TS-Dating.com/