Essenchill Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 I've been chatting with a ts I met on an internet community (not this one), but really don't know if I should take it further or not. after talking for a couple of weeks she suggested meeting each other in person, specifically coming up to my city to party (and other stuff ) Thing is, I'm not sure I wan't a relationship with her (which it seems she wants), for a number of reasons (most of them bad): 1. My Social Life She is passable, in the "there's-something-wrong-but-I-don't-know-what-way", but I've never seen her in person or talked to her over the phone, so I have no idea how she looks or sounds in real life. I'm worried that my friends will see through her "disguise" (sorry couldn't think of another word). I am confident that none of them will break up our friendship, however I believe that some of them will look at me differently, as well will strangers in the street. I hate to be remembered as "that guy who dated a man with tits". I've always tried to live by the principles not to let others' values dictate my actions, but in this case it is hard. 2. Family I'm 19, so I still live at home. Most of my family wouldn't really care or do something about it if I brought home a transsexual, except for my mother. She is very conservative, and my life would be hell if she knew I would date a transsexual, so staying here is not an option. So if she's coming here, where would we stay? 3. I actually had some more reasons, but it's late, I'm tired, and my memory is terrible. I'm sure they will reveal themselves later in the discussion There's some more details that I've forgot at the moment Would really like any advice or thoughts about this EDIT: Just remembered one thing: One thing I'm afraid of is that I'd only date her because of sexual curiousity. When I found out she planned to have SRS, She suddenly became less interesting. I don't wan't to base a relationship on simply getting kinky in the bedroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Essenchill Posted August 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 Thing is, downtown is a no-go zone for her. So without touchy-touchy on her more sensitive areas makes the sex a bit limited, regardless of gender Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tikiboomI Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 It is so lovely and charming when one is making a decision to be or not be with a transsexual, that the decision making process can be reduced to mere sexual acts. So flattering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ADMIN Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 I suggest not to do it yet. You would only hurt the TS girl feelings. Wait until you move out from parents place and get your own place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 WAIT UNTILL YOU GROW UP AND FEEL SECURE AND CONFIDENT ABOUT YOUR OWN CHOISES ...PEOPLE SHOULD BE TREATED AS PARTNERS FRIENDS AND INDIVIDUALS NOT AS "PASSABLE"IF YOU WANT TO EXPERIMENT WITH YOUR SEXUALITY WITH NO "SOCIAL" RISKS GET YOUR SELF A PROFESIONAL WHO WOULD PROVIDE YOU WITH THE DESIRED DESCRETION DO NOT MESS UP WITH PEOPLES FEELINGS CHATTING THEM UP TO YOUR OWN PURPOSES.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tikiboomI Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 WAIT UNTILL YOU GROW UP AND FEEL SECURE AND CONFIDENT ABOUT YOUR OWN CHOISES ...PEOPLE SHOULD BE TREATED AS PARTNERS FRIENDS AND INDIVIDUALS NOT AS "PASSABLE"IF YOU WANT TO EXPERIMENT WITH YOUR SEXUALITY WITH NO "SOCIAL" RISKS GET YOUR SELF A PROFESIONAL WHO WOULD PROVIDE YOU WITH THE DESIRED DESCRETION DO NOT MESS UP WITH PEOPLES FEELINGS CHATTING THEM UP TO YOUR OWN PURPOSES.. This is the best advice, ever. Will he take it? Probably not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 damn...wtf is this? "there's-something-wrong-but-I-don't-know-what-way" whats that supposed to mean man? what r u even doing here if ur mind is set like that? offensive post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Essenchill Posted August 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 WAIT UNTILL YOU GROW UP AND FEEL SECURE AND CONFIDENT ABOUT YOUR OWN CHOISES ...PEOPLE SHOULD BE TREATED AS PARTNERS FRIENDS AND INDIVIDUALS NOT AS "PASSABLE"IF YOU WANT TO EXPERIMENT WITH YOUR SEXUALITY WITH NO "SOCIAL" RISKS GET YOUR SELF A PROFESIONAL WHO WOULD PROVIDE YOU WITH THE DESIRED DESCRETION DO NOT MESS UP WITH PEOPLES FEELINGS CHATTING THEM UP TO YOUR OWN PURPOSES.. Despite what some people may think my intentions are, I agree with you. I like her and respect her, and one of the main reasons that I'm hesitant is beacause I do not want to hurt her. Dating her while at the same time feeling ashamed would be disrespectful. If I am to date her I need to get over the social stigma, because if I don't then I'd obviously date her for the wrong reasons. Neither do I wan't to be with her just for some sexual adventure, for the very same reason (however, I have to admit that I consider sex a big part of any relationship). damn...wtf is this? "there's-something-wrong-but-I-don't-know-what-way" whats that supposed to mean man? what r u even doing here if ur mind is set like that? offensive post Yes, in retrospect, that was offensive. I apologize. I'll probably meet her, but probably not initiate a romantic relationship as I probably wouldn't treat her with the respect she deserves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 19, 2012 Report Share Posted August 19, 2012 I'll probably meet her, but probably not initiate a romantic relationship as I probably wouldn't treat her with the respect she deserves. Why meeting? You mention 3 times probably. In fact you are saying no, no, no. Be clear to yourselve and your chat friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TS Asia Posted August 20, 2012 Report Share Posted August 20, 2012 WAIT UNTILL YOU GROW UP AND FEEL SECURE AND CONFIDENT ABOUT YOUR OWN CHOISES ...PEOPLE SHOULD BE TREATED AS PARTNERS FRIENDS AND INDIVIDUALS NOT AS "PASSABLE"IF YOU WANT TO EXPERIMENT WITH YOUR SEXUALITY WITH NO "SOCIAL" RISKS GET YOUR SELF A PROFESIONAL WHO WOULD PROVIDE YOU WITH THE DESIRED DESCRETION DO NOT MESS UP WITH PEOPLES FEELINGS CHATTING THEM UP TO YOUR OWN PURPOSES.. Despite what some people may think my intentions are, I agree with you. I like her and respect her, and one of the main reasons that I'm hesitant is beacause I do not want to hurt her. Dating her while at the same time feeling ashamed would be disrespectful. If I am to date her I need to get over the social stigma, because if I don't then I'd obviously date her for the wrong reasons. Neither do I wan't to be with her just for some sexual adventure, for the very same reason (however, I have to admit that I consider sex a big part of any relationship). damn...wtf is this? "there's-something-wrong-but-I-don't-know-what-way" whats that supposed to mean man? what r u even doing here if ur mind is set like that? offensive post Yes, in retrospect, that was offensive. I apologize. I'll probably meet her, but probably not initiate a romantic relationship as I probably wouldn't treat her with the respect she deserves. you can be a writer for suspense thriller film...thu im not thrilled really. All i can say do whatever you want to happen or meet up with her then you come back here to give us an update and say whatever you want to say and im sure you will be busy reading what others will say. Good Luck and make it quick!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 23, 2012 Report Share Posted August 23, 2012 You need to understand yourself and what it is you are searching for. The first TS lady I went out with was in NY, she was from puerto Rico and was as sexy as hell but I fell in love with her laugh and charm, personality and love of art, the sex was fantastic but you can't just dine on that dish and hope to find any balance If its curiosity then go and find someone who will provide an answer without the attachment after that you may be in a better place to make a decision To your credit at least you are asking advice and I hope you find who it is you are and what you want in life because when you do you will fight for it Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamSam2 Posted August 25, 2012 Report Share Posted August 25, 2012 Yea man, at least ur man enough to even talk about it ! But IF you DO date her.. u have to show her the same respect u'd expect back ... simple as! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocky1 Posted December 6, 2014 Report Share Posted December 6, 2014 I've been chatting with a ts I met on an internet community (not this one), but really don't know if I should take it further or not. after talking for a couple of weeks she suggested meeting each other in person, specifically coming up to my city to party (and other stuff ) Thing is, I'm not sure I wan't a relationship with her (which it seems she wants), for a number of reasons (most of them bad): 1. My Social Life She is passable, in the "there's-something-wrong-but-I-don't-know-what-way", but I've never seen her in person or talked to her over the phone, so I have no idea how she looks or sounds in real life. I'm worried that my friends will see through her "disguise" (sorry couldn't think of another word). I am confident that none of them will break up our friendship, however I believe that some of them will look at me differently, as well will strangers in the street. I hate to be remembered as "that guy who dated a man with tits". I've always tried to live by the principles not to let others' values dictate my actions, but in this case it is hard. 2. Family I'm 19, so I still live at home. Most of my family wouldn't really care or do something about it if I brought home a transsexual, except for my mother. She is very conservative, and my life would be hell if she knew I would date a transsexual, so staying here is not an option. So if she's coming here, where would we stay? 3. I actually had some more reasons, but it's late, I'm tired, and my memory is terrible. I'm sure they will reveal themselves later in the discussion There's some more details that I've forgot at the moment Would really like any advice or thoughts about this EDIT: Just remembered one thing: One thing I'm afraid of is that I'd only date her because of sexual curiousity. When I found out she planned to have SRS, She suddenly became less interesting. I don't wan't to base a relationship on simply getting kinky in the bedroom. what happened did you meet up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocky1 Posted December 6, 2014 Report Share Posted December 6, 2014 did you meet up - you weren't on jerry springer by chance ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 14, 2014 Report Share Posted December 14, 2014 Ahh to be 19 again. Sorry for butting in. I found this thread quite funny.. So here's a brief response from an old lady. The Man/TG relationship will only work long-term if you're open about it and you have a strong support system behind you (family, friends etc). The same way that a TS would have more chances of having normal/successful life and not be forced to live their lives in the cracks of the society. Or perhaps if you've already lived your a large chunk of your life (married, divorced, kids grow up, wealthy enough, final stages of your life) to care what anyone else says and just get on with your life because this is what you believe will make the remaining of your life worthwhile. So here's a short term solution: - watch some porn with your hands (or toys) and stop messing with other's TS's emotions promising them the sunlight and the moonlight. - find a TG/TS who is in search of friends-with-benefits only - learn to accept yourself and who you are (the earlier, the better) some medium term practical suggestions: - finish your uni (you're a man and 19 and relationships shouldn't be your top priority. clearly also not strong enough to handle a complex TS relationship) - explore more and hire an escort in between (adding contribution to the TS escort economy) - build a decent and stable career (to fund escorts while you're exploring) - decide after some time whether you really want a gf (after and a more long term: - find real friends (real friends will accept you even if you have 6 eyes and 15 fingers) - get bloody rich (incase you get ostracised by your own family and friends, you can live in another galaxy and never come back) - embrace yourself so you don't age miserably (don't get limited by the rigid norms of the society) - be mature and strong (most TGs/TS's are brave but fragile creatures, they need a stronger man than them to back them up and be a team) To the TS girl dating dating this guy: - date a better man for now - not worth investing emotions. Cheerios! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 15, 2014 Report Share Posted December 15, 2014 Just be a little cautious. Most Ts girls prefer sex with a girl, some are bi. - not so many actually desire sex with men as a first choice. Being admired by men is a great turn on. She says she doesn't want to indulge in sex acts involving the genitals and anal area; only 'up top'. I would assume from this that she too is unsure that she can cope with going all the way with a man. She is perhaps hoping that she can. She would like to get into a relationship where she might build up a feeling of trust enough to open up and try. In a way, this could be a great way to start your relationship, because you would necessarily enjoy mutual attractions not based on sex, If you are up for that, then go ahead. When there is a strong bond between you, pleasing each other will be gratifying. Eventually you will find how you can be sexually compatible, or if not, it will fizzle out without regrets. I know, I am post-op myself and I draw on the experiences of many other pre and post ops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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